When things get heavy on your heart who do you talk to? I am talking about not talking about your feelings. It’s hard when you have a child with severe special needs and they are also nonverbal to just talk to anybody about what you’re going through as well as what your child is going through and how you can barely help them any longer. I went to school for psychology, and for biblical counseling. I learned so many different ways and methods to cope when suffering is present. Lately, I have lost all my coping skills. I myself have been to therapy, and I have found that there are only so many therapists that truly listen. When I counsel/coach people I’m reminded to listen more than to give advice. After all, God gave us two ears and one mouth.
Right now I’m outside on the patio in the backyard watching Jaiden swing on his platform swing and I’m looking all around our beautiful backyard and I see the beautiful green trees and how the leaves are starting to change colors. I’m reminded of how things change so quickly. I remember at one time Jaiden was hard so hard to handle I was learning his behaviors, and back then it wasn’t too bad. I remember he was so tiny and he would pace back-and-forth and he also had vocalizations and mild screaming as he was younger and smaller. His smile would light up the room his singing was squeaky, but so cute. Nowadays, Jaiden is a 14-year-old in a man’s body with the brain of a three-year-old. He has problems with emotion regulation and screams like a banshee over 100 times a day. There truly is nothing you can do about it no one really can do anything about it and I know there are some parents out there that understand what we go through as a family as they to have a child that may scream even more than 100 times a day. (Forgive me for the run on sentences.) Heck, some of you may have two and three children that scream on a daily basis. According to Stephen a d Debra Wallace Advocates for Choice
Parents and Allies of Remarkable Texans who recently has an article published in The National Council On Autism, “ Those on the severe end of the spectrum who demonstrate aggressive or self injurious tendencies continue to grow in numbers…. The simple fact is, thousands upon thousands of families will shortly be confronted by the need for more intensive care and treatment for their loved ones with autism. ”
I just got tired of talking about not really talking about the maladaptive behaviors that Jaiden experiences and all the things that go on in our household. I really feel like I need to talk about it as things have become so much more exacerbated and life has become increasingly difficult.
I homeschool Jaiden and his younger brother Sebastian and I knew it would be difficult some days, however last year was so much better. We Just begun this year so I am giving it some time before making some changes to the new school routine. I don’t want to give up just yet as I feel like I haven’t exhausted all of my resources. I knew that being a homeschooling mom I would be able to teach the boys how to be morally correct, how to respect, how to be helpful, and a whole bunch of other things that nowadays they’re not teaching in our regular schools. I don’t want to give up just yet. Jaiden has a slew of maladaptive behaviors as I’ve mentioned previously and I still feel like there’s hope that he may get the help that he needs in someway shape or form. I’m praying that there’s a solution to even help him just a little so that we are family life is not as chaotic.
Today I am a wife and mom who just needed to vent about everything that I have been going through. So that’s why I’m talking about not talking about it. I never really talked about how my heart aches for Jaiden daily, how I cry daily, and how I most days don’t know what to do with him. The one thing that I do know is that I love him with my whole heart and I will continue to try to be the best wife and mother I can be for all three of my boys. If you’re tired, a caregiver, A mother or a father taking care of special needs child I pray that you have the peace that you need and that your child is well and if you don’t have peace, and your child isn’t well… I’m with you. Really all I needed was for someone just to listen to me so thank you so much for reading and listening. I hope I can be there to listen to some of you too. Tomorrow is a new day and things will be different, for that I am grateful.
Get Maritza’s Books Autism in Our Home and The Autism Stress Less Guide on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is a small booklet and out on Amazon now!!
Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV
Listen to The Autism Stress Less Podcast at anchor.fm/molisfam iTunes, Spotify and Podbean.
Laugh a little and learn a lot on Kevin’s YouTube page Autism Dadda:
“Learning to suffer well is the key”
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