How To Recover When Life Breaks You

On 04/15/202404/21/2024 By maritzamolisIn Strategies2CopeLeave a comment

Kevin and I have always enjoyed right when the warm weather begins. We love to put on our gym shoes and go out for a long walk in the warmth of the sun and then enjoy the stunning colors of spring trees, flowers and even the grass. With the woods behind us, I’m not surprised to see the beautiful landscape begin to turn green.

Over the years here I’ve made many attempts to garden. I have been successful with herbs and lettuce so that’s a start. I will try harder this year to get things growing. I have pots that my neighbors gave to us so we started planting strawberries, lettuce, cucumbers and zucchini. I am not an expert yet, but am planning on a harvest to occur as long as I care for the plants appropriately.

Knowing that I’m pressed for time as I work in the mornings, homeschool and have others duties to attend to I still make time to:

Pray, breathe, and drink my coffee
Read a devotional
Water the plants and flowers
Take time to feed the birds
Watch the deer an other animals

As I sit here this morning on our patio I breathe in and out and watch the beauty in the sky. My frustrations with life have nearly been replaced with awe and peace.

How many times I have heard people say through out the years, “You have been through so much,” “I don’t know how you guys are still standing.” One person, one name. Jesus. He is why I am standing, moving, working, praying, forgiving and loving when life has broken me down.

What could we accomplish if we had the persistence of praying always? Or if we made it habitual to seek God’s face daily? Life is too much, take a break, pray and ask others for help. You have a special needs child – pray A LOT and find different ways of getting help. You have tried EVERYTHING for your child and feel Like a failure – you are not a failure, pray some more and go after more help and call more people AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. Your child matters, your family matters. You never got that college degree – pray and ask for direction and HIS wisdom and what’s really stopping you now? What could we accomplish if we were consistent and persistent in our prayer life?

”We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments.“
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Listening to: More (Red Rocks Worship)

How You Can Help

If you find the blog and podcast helpful, please Like, Subscribe and Review Podcast on iTunes or Spotify. It’s a great way to support the show and only takes a few seconds. I am aiming for 100 listeners.

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Get Maritza’s Book The Autism Stress Less Guide on Amazon. Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources.

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-

Check Out My Husband Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

I Will Wait

On 03/23/202403/23/2024 By maritzamolisIn Strategies2Cope3 Comments

There’s a disconnect,

I’m stuck and somber

Feelings of madness,

I fall to the ground

You are tired,

feel broken, frustrated with life,

It’s been day after day,

you’re hopeless with time

You’ve been gone,

life feels pointless without you,

time won’t heal your wounds

Head up to the sky,

I will always love you,

remain in love till we meet again

I’ll wait, I’ll wait,

I’ll lie awake at night and pray

I’ll wait, I’ll wait,

for the answers to come,

Only God can give

”O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. Interlude“
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭62‬:‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Listening to: Give Me Jesus

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-

Check Out My Husband Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

5 Ways To Live More in 2024…And Stress Less

On 12/29/202312/29/2023 By maritzamolisIn AUTISM, family, homeschooling, mental health4 Comments

I’m currently writing this while I am purging all of the things we don’t need from the previous year you know the things like shoes you don’t wear, jackets you don’t wear, mugs you don’t use. How many of you guys have mugs that you don’t use just collecting dust on the shelf? This past year I have intentionally purged lots of things I don’t need and I have lived more than I ever have. I think it’s because I see things more clearly as I have deepened my relationship with the Lord.

How have I done that? Well, I wish I could tell you it was just one or two things but really, it has been day in and day out making time to talk with God, to read the Bible and to study the Bible. Which in previous years I thought I studied and realized this year that I was merely just skimming through pages and writing notes, but yes, I have day in and day out talked with him, cried to him, laughed to him, praised him, praised him and praised him some more. I have read quite a few books about him and this past year I also have read more than I ever have in my life. Of course, listening to some audio books helps to read a lot more books in a short amount of time too. All of the wisdom I have gained has helped me to look at life differently and to live life differently. I’ve also listened to sermons from pastors and priests and a lot of these have helped me to stress less in my life and helped me to focus on what truly matters which is loving God and others. I like listening to Dr. Charles Stanley, Derek Prince, and I also listen to some older pastors, as well as some priests, named father, Mike and Bishop Baron

In me saying all of this, it doesn’t mean that I don’t hurt, because I still do very much so hurt in my heart and mind. I was suffering so bad at one point I did read a book called “How to carry what can’t be fixed”, by Megan Devine, which is an amazing book to help you through life when you’re suffering or grieving. Also, when I’m not doing well mentally or emotionally I will worship, journal, pray, and a times use the book “The power of a praying woman”, by Stormie Omartian.

Of course, these are just a few things I do and read frequently to help me center myself, but there are lots more books that I have on my shelf I tend to grab as well. I started to write this to help give you five ways to live more and to stress less, and I went on a tangent, so here are the five ways to Live More and Stress Less for your new year in 2024:

1. Create a sanctuary station to spend time in quiet with God, in a small place or corner. My sanctuary station is in my office and it’s not huge, but it’s mine. However, I know that a lot of you may not have an office. If I did not have an office my sanctuary place would be in a closet that has space where you can create a small area with pillows, blankets, small table, your Bible notebooks, etc., create it make it your own and use it daily.

2. Make time for important people in your life that you love like your close fam and friends. I know that with working full-time for a lot of you or even being a homemaker full time with kids It’s hard to even muster up the energy to make the time to see others however, at at the end of your life, you are gonna wish that you made time for those important people in your life so don’t wish just make time now.

3. Talk it out with God, yell about it, laugh about it, cry about it and thank Him. Talk it out with a trusted friend or mentor and don’t keep our emotions stuffed inside.

4. Find a passion a hobby or job you love and be grateful to be able to do that passion, hobby or job you love! There are so many things that bring joy find something and do it.

5. Visit new places and enjoy the time by being present. This is one that I am still working on and I do have a few places in mind for next year that I would like to go to with my family, friends and by myself.

Wherever you are at today, I pray that your mind is well and that your heart is with peace and that you stay close to God always. Have a happy, happy new year and live life in 2024 with love and peace.

Listening to: Jesus Have It All

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

Dwelling in Gratitude

On 11/25/202311/25/2023 By maritzamolisIn Strategies2Cope4 Comments

This week I have spent some time being grateful for so many people and opportunities that I’ve been blessed with. I was dwelling in gratitude, thanking God while at work, at home looking outside my dining room window looking out at the beauty of the trees and the beautiful sunrise, thanking God while eating with family. I haven’t always been this way. There have been times I have been really bitter, angry even. I have experienced a lot of heaviness and heartache in my 43 years here.

I’m no stranger to losing people. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life like many of you due to death, and unforeseen circumstances. Loss makes us think about life differently, like how to keep on moving forward while still grieving. I’ve lost my father to alcoholism when I was 11, my brother in law to a heart attack when he was only 28 years old, my cousin to a rare disease when he was all but four years of age. My greatest loss to date isn’t even by death, it’s an ambiguous grief I am going through. I’ve been unable to see my middle son, Jaiden.

To my knowledge, he is okay as I write these words, but I haven’t seen him since the summer of 2022. He was 15 years old. I was in a very vulnerable time in my life not doing well mentally and some family members acted out against me in anger. I love and miss my son terribly. My heart aches for him as I remember his laughs, his sweet hugs, and I pray and think of him every day. I am not perfect and I don’t proclaim to be at all. I know God loves us all the same no matter what we do and I trust Him to take care of Jaiden and to get our family through these difficulties together.

Talking to God will help you through tough times, but also talk to Him in the good times. My relationship with God has become so beautiful even with all the hurts and mistakes He still loves us. He is the lover of your soul, your Father, your Counselor, your Peace. My children all three boys belong to the Lord and I know in this life or the next I will see my son Jaiden again. I don’t understand how people can be so evil at times I really don’t it’s just the way some people in this world can be and I don’t want any part of that, however I know we are called to love and that’s what I will do even if it’s to love the unlovely. It’s very hard to do, but also very important to do.

With all of that, I am still grateful and so thankful that we have all that we have and all that we need. I was able to work, play, wash clothes, cook dinner, hang out with friends/family, sing, dance, pray and Live. I pray that you have great blessings and that God show you his Love and Compassion when your heart is heavy especially during this time of year.

“I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭9‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Listening to: 7 Years

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

Is it a Nervous Breakdown Or Anxiety?

On 11/17/202311/17/2023 By maritzamolisIn Strategies2Cope2 Comments

During a nervous breakdown intense feelings of sadness, fear and anger can turn into despair, terror and rage. Some symptoms you could experience would be headaches, stomachaches, insomnia, excessive sadness, anxiety, irritability, hallucinations, trouble making decisions and social withdrawal. Some people may be suicidal and some may self harm.

When I talk about how I experienced a nervous breakdown I explain that I experienced a nervous breakdown with these overwhelming feelings of chaos inside my mind which made me hallucinate, panic, dissociate (detached from everything around me) and have instability of emotions. Now having panic attacks and anxiety can come with a nervous breakdown too, but are horrible feelings with chest pain, body shaking, rapid heart palpitations, hyperventilating and can last for a few minutes. However, with a nervous breakdown it can last for months before a person gets back on track emotionally and mentally. It can be caused by severe stressors, major life changes, medical issues, financial issues and trauma. I struggled for years with major stress before I went through a breakdown. It has been a long road in this recovery as I have been in therapy tried medications in the past and have had to make major life pivots.

The things that have helped me to function well and breathe again are therapy with a trusted therapist that understands trauma, making lifestyle changes such as eating better foods, drinking more water, herbal teas, faithful friendships and resting mentally by creating a habit of prayer day and night. I can tell you to “Do these top things and it will never happen to you,” but I won’t do that because we are all wired differently and we all go through challenges in our lives differently. It can happen to you if you don’t take care of yourself. It will happen to you if you don’t make good decisions for yourself now.

You can be healed from depression, anxiety and trauma. My reality is I have been healed of these things and I strive daily to think on whatever is good, lovely, true and honorable. Healing doesn’t happen over night, but if you give yourself a chance to experience healing you can be healed. I will have to be straightforward with you and tell you not to go to alcohol, drugs, or even a psychotherapist first. Give yourself time in the quiet, time to talk with God, time to read the Bible or listen to it. Accept invites from friends that care about you. What is the most horrific night for you can turn into peace instantly with God. For me, my breaking point was the beginning of a better life. It was horrible to go through the things I went through psychologically and emotionally, but when I gave God everything he changed my circumstances. I screamed at him, cried out to him, felt his presence, his love and then thanked him.

A relationship with God can change all the chaos in your life in an instant if you allow Him to. I still have days I want to talk to a therapist, take some medications and just not venture out of the house. Nowadays, I know when to ask for help and I know how to manage my life in good ways. I pray the same for you too.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Listening to: Ordinary People

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

Dealing With Toxic Personalities

On 10/20/202310/20/2023 By maritzamolisIn mental health3 Comments

We all have families that are there for us through thick and thin, happy times and sad ones. Sometimes it feels like they’re the only people who truly get you. But what happens when toxic family members begin to take over? What happens when you become overwhelmed by the constant negativity and manipulative motives?

If you have one or more family members, friends or an ex boyfriend/girlfriend that puts you down, belittles, and makes you feel bad about yourself that is a toxic person. A toxic family often causes confusion, anxiety, or creates pain. You may not be physically abused, but you might be emotionally abused by being told horrible things about your character or that something is wrong with you for the decisions you make in life.

Toxic people are extremely difficult to deal with. They exhaust you, sucking the life out of you while trying to keep you under their control. You deserve respect from these people, so don’t let their toxicity and abuse go unchecked. Do not let them mistreat you. Keep busy by staying active, pursue hobbies, and spend time with encouraging, supportive people. Trust that God will make a way for you to deal with these abuse personalities.

Your darkest nights, those nights you spend awake, with anxiety can turn into nights where you lie there in bed and you talk to God, and He comes to you quite quickly. Other nights may seem so long and you don’t hear Him at all. I remember a time when I was so very overwhelmed and severely stressed I wrote a song and sang it to God and named it Take this:

Everything’s feels crazy I wonder where you are

Everything feels empty I might just fall apart

I realize I’m broken and I don’t know what to do

Do whatever it is you need to pull me through

Take this from me

take this from me

will you take this from me now

take this from me

Everything’s looks hazy I wonder where you are

I cannot see clearly and life has fell apart

My heart is crushed in pieces and I don’t know what to do

Do whatever it is you need to pull me to you

Take this from me

take this from me

will you take this from me now

take this from me

It feels like forever ago when I wrote that song. I remember going through so many sleepless nights tossing and turning wanting to help our family have more peace. I wanted to be deeply delivered from a toxic relationship and I was too fixed on my emotions at that time and I needed to be fixed on God and his truth for living. Delivered. Deliverance. We are strong when we are in the Lord and not in our own might. Thank God for the battles he fights for you as he knows your struggles and knows what you face.

I now sing songs like, “Give me Jesus”, “I want Jesus”, “Jesus have it all”, “Stand in Your Love”, “None but Jesus” and “Gratitude”. My life has changed so much for the better spending time in His presence. God helps us in His time. We all have people in our lives that are there for us through it all, happy, sad and at times crazy ones. Then there are those people who have their own agendas and some of those people are broken, battered and will destroy you with their words, anger and dysfunction.

Have integrity, be who You are, accept who You are even when they don’t and practice some Biblical Boundaries! God is bigger than any problem, person or situation. Even if it hurts. Are you living with your eyes fixed on God’s truths? Or are your eyes fixed on your emotions? Pray the Word of God!

“A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.”

Proverbs 12:16 NLT

“The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.””
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“The Lord will conquer your enemies when they attack you. They will attack you from one direction, but they will scatter from you in seven!”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭28‬:‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭10‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Listening to: Open My Eyes Lord

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

How To Find The Support You May Need

On 09/28/202310/15/2023 By maritzamolisIn AUTISM3 Comments

I sat in the emergency exam room in Avon lake, Ohio unable to open my eyes with a severe headache. My stomach was on fire with pressure that felt like a ton of bricks pushing on my intestines.

“The only way to find out what is going on is to do a variety of tests and take it from there.” They ordered a bunch of tests, blood, urine, ultra sound and the doctor told me sternly. “You have to consider what’s going on in your life as you have an ulcer due to severe stress.”

It was 2021, and for several months, my sole focus had been on homemaking, homeschooling, researching on homeschooling and autism while homeschooling my two boys, one with severe autism and I wanted to do everything I could for both. For Jaiden, I sought out services, drove him to specialists, therapists came to our house, talked with us by zoom, I poured over autism research, and tried to manage Jaiden’s challenging behaviors while also caring for my younger son Sebastian. I felt sad and exhausted, but I pushed myself to keep going.

That was, until I found out I had an ulcer in my stomach. The doctor said it’s all because of severe stress. I then ended up having a mental breakdown in November of 2021 and I had to get my mind right, and I had to learn how to manage the stress that I was dealing with.

Caring for any child is hard, but a child with severe special needs is even harder work. I had a lot of help and even with the help I had I still ended up feeling depleted and alone. I reached out for more help and connected with others in similar situations.

I was told to prioritize self care, ask family to help out so I could take a break, and I did, however the feelings of not being able to help enough never leave.

It can be very stressful caring for a special needs teen and then navigating medical issues, therapies, public benefits and much more. I struggle with grief still and have blamed myself for Jaiden being how he is. My husband and I struggled for awhile too just not knowing what to do really or who to turn to. Our youngest, started to have issues of his own such as being hyper vigilant, having a startle response that was off along with anxiety.

It wasn’t until I did get help that I was able to see clearly, and started to function better mentally so that I could care for my family fully. I was in a chronic stress mode and it started to make me and others in our family sick. I also never stopped going to our local church and made it a point for us to stay connected to God daily and our church family which helped so much.

How to manage stress:

Pray. This means taking time out of your day, talking with God, meditation, worshipping, reading your Bible and taking care of your own wellbeing by doing things that help you feel more rested and energized. Prayer is so important to decompress and breathe. Through prayer God speaks and you’ll find him when you sit and listen.

Find support. There are organizations that offer resources and information for families caring for children with disabilities. You can also seek out your local church to talk with someone about helping you to find those resources available in your community. There are lots of in person and online support groups for parents, including groups in Spanish.

Change your mindset. Think of helping other parents going through the same thing or reaching out to organizations that are looking for volunteers and help out in any way you can. Also taking positive action even in baby steps this includes eating well, getting enough sleep, and being active like walking or going to the gym.

Resources

https://tacanow.org/about-autism/offers support and information for parents caring for children with disabilities in English and Spanish. This includes online information on hundreds of topics, webinars and access to support groups and autism parent mentors.
Support groups such as https://www.myautismteam.com
Resources for families of children with disabilities transitioning to adulthood are available here.
Milestones https://www.milestones.org/resources/community-resource-center/categoriesserves individuals with developmental disabilities and their families who reside within Cleveland, Ohio and surrounding areas.
https://autismsociety.org offers resources and organizes events for people in the autism community. To find upcoming opportunities to meet other families visit their event’s calendar and find your local group.
Children’s Health Council works with families living with ADHD, learning differences, anxiety and depression and autism. They offer evaluation and therapy services, free educational resources for parents, and parent support groups. For more information visit chconline.org or call 650-688-3650.
The Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund offers parent training, education and advocacy for families of children and young adults with disabilities throughout Northern California. Visit dredf.org/special-education/students-k-12, call 800-348-4232 or email iephelp@dredf.org

Looking for help? You can find parent resource organizations in other parts of the state using these directories:

parentcenterhub.org/find-your-center (For families of infants, toddlers, children and youth with disabilities, from birth to age 26)
autisticadvocacy.org (Has a guide to autism and perspective from the Autistic Self Advocacy Network)

Listening to: Ed Sheeran

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-1

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

The Truth About Severe Autism

On 09/23/202309/21/2023 By maritzamolisIn AUTISMLeave a comment

We have three boys and our son with level 3 autism, epilepsy and other issues will be 17 in December. He is a sophomore which is crazy to say that out loud or to write out here on this page. He has been nonverbal from the start. However, as he has grown and had several different therapies he has shown to speak in some sentences which I’m so grateful. He isn’t completely potty trained, but still working on it, has little social skills and little ability to do anything in relation to taking care of himself.

Jaiden is pretty severe on the spectrum. He has become violent over the last couple of years being self injurious by hurting himself, kicking, biting, slapping when he went to go stay with the grandparents here at home it was about 80% of the time. Jaiden is on very strong medication to try and ease the anxieties within him. He was put on medication a few years ago because of the violent outbursts against family and strangers and the docs have gradually increased the dosage as he has grown. Primarily it was just towards me as his mama and on occasion when really upset towards everyone else. We lost control of him, and we couldn’t stop the trend from growing.

As I age (I am 43) there will come a time when I just can’t handle his behaviors anymore. No more “one day at a times”. I become what he does not need anymore because I simply can’t give him what that would be.

At what point do we recognize that we have taken this as far as we possibly can on our own, and need someone or something else to step in, not for just our sake, but for Jaiden? Where can we begin to start to look, research, and start to prepare for what that is?

I have spent the last decade fighting against autism, adjusting to autism, mentoring parents that have newly diagnosed children with autism and navigating autism. There is a bridge coming for us, and it is coming fast – the next step of surviving autism. We are no longer hopeful he will recover, or lead a very productive life. I have faith that some days will be better than others and that with God we will have peace and direction.

For Jaiden, there is no college, there is no driving, not even marriage. It hurts, but it also gives me some clarity in accepting the reality that I am no longer trying to find a way to defeat autism or find a way to make it work in life. We are shifting gears to focus on how we can survive it, together, and not destroy Jaidens sense of wellbeing in the process. In that spirit, we are searching for which direction to start looking to begin putting together the pieces for the future. Being in a blended family has a lot of challenges with so many outside influences good and bad to take into consideration. I just wanted to vent about all of it today. Sometimes that’s all we can do.

Proverbs 22:3 “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”

Listening to: Crash Bandicoot

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-1

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

Jaiden’s 13th Birthday Celebration

On 09/21/202312/11/2023 By maritzamolisIn AUTISM3 Comments

I started planning Jaiden’s 13th birthday party a month before it took place. I knew him turning 13 would be a little different from typical kids turning 13 and I wanted to celebrate him and what he loved, who he loved and not overthink it or be on edge about what could go wrong. We talked about having it at a bowling alley, but last time we went he had a urinary accident on the chair there. I didn’t want to chance that happening so I decided to have the party at home as he could be comfortable and we can play loud music for him and invite all the people he wanted.

I planned the party in the beginning of December as Jaiden’s birthday is on December 7th. It’s a crazy date to have a birthday 🥳 anyhow, I ordered pizza, had his favorite snacks and my mama made the cake. He knew it was his special day as I was preparing early for it and he saw me doing all the things and was so excited. I knew he loved taking pics with his phone so I ended up buying him a camera. I wrapped it up well and when he opened it he was so happy and studied it intensely. He quickly started to use it once I was able to charge it and set it up for him.

He loved to open gifts, and smiled so big with each gift he unwrapped or opened. He sat on his therapists lap afterward and was so excited. By the way, he was much bigger than her at the time. He spent the rest of his party pacing, smiling, snacking and poking fun inside. He hugged and kissed me so many times that day. I was not prepared for him to enjoy his birthday party as much as he did as with Jaiden a lot of times it’s hit or miss. However, I did my best for him and planned it around his favorite things. I’ve got to tell you, It was truly unexpected the way he behaved that day. He was so joyful and I was so grateful his 13th birthday bash was a hit! I write this because this year Jaiden will be 17 years old. This year Jaiden will be with his grandparents for his birthday.

He has grown so much and is loved so much. It’s so hard to have a child with severe autism and special needs you don’t know how the day will be most days and you pray it will go peacefully. I prayed before, during and then gave thanks after each birthday party. We had a lot of birthday bashes that went well and some that were cut short. Im so grateful for those times of fun, smiles, loud laughter and times filled with unexpected joy. I believe this birthday will go well for Jaiden. I believe he is surrounded by Gods love, good people, and that all he wants and wishes for Will come true.

Listening to: Traditional Christmas music

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

Happy Easter Everyone

On 04/09/202304/09/2023 By maritzamolisIn AUTISM, family, LIFESTYLE, mental health3 Comments

Magnify God and not your problems each day. Pray mighty prayers over a tough situation you are facing. Rest, rest and rest some more because it is good for you to do so when you’re faced with so many things that are out of your control.

I pray you and your families have rest and peace today. Blessing and more to you! Happy Easter 🐣

“but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body.”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭16‬:‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Listening to: worship on Pandora

How You Can Help

Click down below and subscribe

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-stress-less/id1426429050

Have a Question for Maritza?

Send your questions to maritzamolis@gmail.com

Autism Stress Less Guide Booklet:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_m18TFb7282ZSV

Autism In Our Home: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Our-Home-Making-Bittersweet/dp/1642993409/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1635183410&sr=8-1

Check out my husband

Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Learning to suffer well is the key”

Maritza Molis

Tag: parents

How To Recover When Life Breaks You

I Will Wait

5 Ways To Live More in 2024…And Stress Less

Dwelling in Gratitude

Is it a Nervous Breakdown Or Anxiety?

Dealing With Toxic Personalities

How To Find The Support You May Need

The Truth About Severe Autism

Jaiden’s 13th Birthday Celebration

Happy Easter Everyone

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: