The Power Of Patient Parenting

I was talking to Kev about how our parenting styles are so different and that because of his patience his parenting to me, is more effective. In our marriage, we discuss frequently how we should treat each of our kids such as what’s really worth the fight and what we really need to go easy on with our kids.

Do you ever wonder, how Jesus would navigate the tension in your household? Jesus was all grace and all truth all the time with the disciples and they weren’t his kids, but they were his friends. Maybe this is not a good comparison, however the point is to consistently give grace to our kids and to consistently be patient with them because that’s exactly how Jesus is with us. I am guilty of being a crappy parent and I have learned over the years how to be more patient, more kind and more loving. I believe that you can learn all of these things too.

Jesus laid the foundation for us by showing us the new covenant command which is to love others as Jesus loves us. Following that principle will make you a better parent as well as you will learn to exercise more patience. I don’t want to get too deep into psychological issues because I understand that if you have a history of trauma and unresolved emotional wounds from your past, of course that’s going to spill into your parenting.  I’m just talking about simply following what God has laid out for us which is to love your children and to try to have patience with them.

When they have autism and special needs this can be very difficult at times and I totally understand. However, Love isn’t pushy and it chooses to move at the other persons pace since God moves at our pace so we are to do the same for all our children. Let’s try to do that especially in this season! 

“Love is patient and kind, never jealous, boastful, proud, or” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4‬ ‭

Listening to: Lady Gaga-Alejandro

Latest podcast: To listen to the latest podcast click down here👇🏼

https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/The-Power-of-Patient-Parenting-enbrf3

Get Maritza’s Books Autism in Our Home and The Autism Stress Less Guide on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is a small guide out on Amazon too!!

Autism in Our Home: The Making of a Bittersweet Family https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

The Autism Stress Less Parent Guide: Ways To Find Help And Support For You And Your Child https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NTZ4XW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_jKNZFbB5XHQHF

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

http://bksnfr.me/Maritza_A._Molis

https://booksniffer.com/maritza-a-molis

Autism In Our Home: This Week

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Strength, support, compassion from others is what I have been blessed with since my son Jaiden was diagnosed with autism. It wasn’t always like that especially in the beginning. I had to given up lots of my time to educate myself in areas of education for Jaiden, therapies, medications and now he is a tween going through the dreaded puberty.

I am super grateful for his educators and the lovely grandparents that have reminded me from time to time that Jaiden has lots of great things about him. I need to be reminded of the good he does especially when he is having screaming fits, meltdowns and acting out. How many times I prayed for a better way to parent him and the rest of my boys.

I like many of you at times will question my parenting skills. Am I doing the right things? Am I good enough of a wife and mother to continue doing this?

Today Jaiden had a meltdown when Sebastian our 6 year old was with me picking him up. Clearly, I know that the meltdown was due to a change in routine, but very hard for Sebastian to understand why his brother is pushing him around and screaming. The question arose again , am I good enough Lord, cause this is very hard at times. The answer I clearly receive from God is yes. Yes, you are good enough for your child and yes you will get through the hardest struggles like I did. Not without God almighty though. Praying, reading the word, and worship are crucial when developing your relationship with Christ. He is all you will need to get by when life hits you with a blow that hurts so bad you lose the wind in your gut.

At times, you will feel alone but you are NOT alone. Four important things for parental sanity lets get right to it.

1.Time…with God and your spouse if you have one

2. Support…from those who have gone through the same struggle, from professionals that work with your child and from friends and family that love you

3. Education…research, read and educate your mind about the struggles. Ask to visit your child’s school as well to see how they work with your child to get some tips.

4. Commitment…love your child, spend time with them, believe the best in them, though they will drive you mad at times.

This has been an interesting summer. I have been working, taking care of the family when not working, trying to start a ministry and am just finishing my first book. As a matter of fact, it’s in the cover design process at the moment. I have been super excited, down at times and elated after going on a trip with my husband Kevin of 10 years. Have any of you experienced any ups and downs this summer? I am sure you’ve got some great stories.

Kevin is a cast your care, have some fun kind of a guy whereas I’m a what about this? What about that kind of girl? I started writing a few years back to help others move toward a change for their lives as I love to help people and I didn’t think I would be ever finishing a book, or starting a ministry. God has pushed me through so many obstacles, he has been there through so many screams, bed wetting, hair pulling, toy throwing moments.

I wanted to do this blog to let you know that you are not alone. I wanted to write the book “Autism In Our Home, The Making Of A Bitter Sweet Family” to help others believe that with God no thing is impossible when parenting a child with autism. I want those who feel like they don’t know where to turn after receiving a diagnosis of autism for their child to turn to God and start advocating for their child and then other families. I know for some of you, it’s very hard. You may have more than one child on the spectrum. Hold tight to God and don’t let him go. Keep believing the best in your child/children. We are praying for you daily. Have a blessed week!

I plan to have a book release party soon when the book is done and if you like, You may even be able to get a free copy to share.

Psalm 62:2 AMP

” He alone is my rock and my salvation, my defense and my strong tower; I will not be shaken or disheartened”

Listening to: Citipointe Live into the deep

A FEW WAYS to RESPECT the OTHER PARENTS HOUSEHOLD

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I would be lying if I said co-parenting is an easy job because in my past it hasn’t been, but now thank heavens it is much better. I have two boys from a previous relationship I was in before I married and we did have a rocky relationship when it came to parenting our boys. However, as the years have passed by we both have understood that it is all for the boys and what matters is that they are loved and safe when in both of our care. I want you to know that your children will grow up to be respectable adults if they have both parents parenting the proper way. It doesn’t do your children any good when they hear mom and dad fighting or bickering over things that really don’t matter. Emotions can be high when dealing with differences, but if you had no emotions you would just make the right decision so just MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS for your children and move on.

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Here are a few things to help you to RESPECT the other parents household:

•Work hard to respect the other parent and his or her household.
• Schedule a monthly “business” meeting to discuss co-parenting matters. Just explain that you will text important matters if they are unable to meet due to work or you can schedule a phone call.
• Never ask your children to be spies or tattle-tails on the other home. Live with INTEGRITY.
• When children have confusing or angry feelings toward your ex, don’t capitalize on their hurt and berate the other parent. Explain that we need to love and respect our parents for who they are despite their differences. If their is an obvious abuse issue then take it to the proper authorities.
• Children should have everything they need in each home. This means school supplies, clothes, food, etc…
• Try to release your hostility toward the other parent so that the children can’t take advantage of your hard feelings. Pray and ask God to give you strength and peace to deal with the emotions and he will. Like I said before, take the Emotions out of it and make the RIGHT DECISIONS for your children.
• Do not disappoint your children with broken promises or by being unreliable.
• Make your custody structure work for your children even if you don’t like the details of the arrangement. DO what’s best for your child even if you don’t like it. Allow the other parent to pick them up and spend time with them they have that right too.
• If you plan to hire a babysitter for more than four hours while the children are in your home, give the other parent first right to that time. Just give the other parent a call asking if they would like to hang out with the children and if so great if not hire a sitter.
• Suggest that younger children take a favorite toy or game as a transitional object.
• If you and your ex cannot resolve a problem or change in custody or visitation, agree to problem solving through mediation rather than litigation. Contact a Mediator through the courts or a Biblical Counselor (Like myself 🙂 See if we can help you to solve the issues so that way you don’t have to spend a ton of money on court fees and lawyers.

The reality here is that many parents who were poor partners are good parents and their children enjoy them very much so give your ex partner or spouse the opportunity to be wonderful with the children, even if they weren’t wonderful with you. Hope this helps you to be more open to a peaceful relationship with the other parent and remember that YOUR attitude can greatly influence YOUR behavior so CHOOSE the right Attitude. Have a great week!

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (NIV)