I literally write this to you with very little sleep trying to silence the negative chatter in my brain that continuously tells me “How in the hell are you doing this life? Aren’t you sleepy?” There are days that won’t be so great in any parents life, but when you have a child with level 3 autism and other issues a lot of the time you’re trying to silence the chatter in your brain as well as trying to calm your nerves and everything else that comes with it. Sometimes I feel like my life is a dream and I think that has a lot to do with struggling with PTSD. There have been studies back in 2009 that show parents that have children with severe autism have the stress comparable to that of combat soldiers. ￼A lot of you parents I know, struggle through the same things I struggle with. There are the heart palpitations, electricity like feelings in your chest and body, fogginess, not wanting to be around people much, startle response issues, being on guard most days and that dang negative brain chatter.
It sounds like a hot mess. It is on some days. ￼￼Some days are filled with so much negative chatter in my brain I have to forcefully shake my head and tell myself no, no, no it’s gonna be all right. Besides, the things that Jaiden does now are not too bad. When he was younger he used to stay awake until about 2 o’clock in the morning and then only sleep for a few hours and then would get right back up at like 5 AM begging for cereal and goodnight moon to be read to him. He also would take off his clothes, run and pace all over the house. Nowadays, Jaiden has a medication regimen so he sleeps well most nights and keeps his clothes on thankfully. His pacing has become a bit more slow paced as he has grown a bunch. Right now, he’s going through puberty so there are a lot of emotional disturbances, physical changes, and behaviors that he currently presents with that are not so pleasing to the ear or eye,￼ but we are getting through them.
I sit here parked in the parking lot at Jaidens School and while I am writing this Jaiden is turning on and off the car lights, drinking his morning juice and making vocalizations. I was really happy because he asked me for pizza for dinner today and normally he doesn’t ask me for much as he is mostly nonverbal. I’m grateful that at least he can try to verbalize some things and I’m grateful for the people that push me to continue to work with him as it helps a so much with life and the negative chatter that can sometimes pop up in my brain￼￼￼￼￼￼.
I sometimes think that I might be in a pit of darkness and despair had it not been for God￼. I renew my mind by spending time in his presence, talking with him, singing worship to him and reading the Bible. Thanking him for all that I have. I have written one book, have a podcast, this blog and am working on a second book currently. I have lots to be grateful for and I pray that God show you all the good things in your life too.
Listening to great pastors over the years has also kept me working through rough patches. The pleasure of working with medical professionals, pastors and chaplains who have a strong faith also has helped me with tough moments and a few have put me in my place to see the beauty in life and look to God always.
“All who are rich and have more than enough will bow down to you, Lord. Even those who are dying and almost in the grave will come and bow down. In the future, everyone will worship and learn about you, our Lord. People not yet born will be told, “The Lord has saved us!” Psalms 22: 29-31CEV
Listening to: Elevation Worship-Never Lost
Latest podcast episode: https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/Silencing-The-Negative-Brain-Chatter-eh9i62
Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400
If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!
Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw