Posted in AUTISM

When overwhelmed with emotions, pray, pray and pray.

When I am overwhelmed with emotions my first inclination was not always to pray, pray and pray. I used to get so overwhelmed when my son Jaiden would scream like a banshee, spit, kick, hit and throw things. He has level 3 autism, epilepsy and an intellectual disability and some days are much harder than others. I used to be obnoxious, I used to cry, scream and throw fits myself. As time has gone on, I have become much better, but only because of time in prayer, time with God, time changing my attitude towards myself and family. I remember talking with my husband Kevin about how life was just so unbearable and he said, “This is insanity Maritza, you have to change something or it will always be how it is.” He was right about the insanity part. I was truly driving myself mad. I have always struggled with depression, anxiety and anger issues that have stemmed from my own childhood going through various things. Now, I have three boys and one with severe behavioral issues. I said to myself that day, “YOU’VE GOTS TO GET IT TOGETHER GIRL!”

It has taken me sometime to get it together, however I am a work in progress like most of you are. When I am overwhelmed I now, talk to God, breathe, walk away if able to, watch something funny, drink some water, juice, lie down, listen to classical music on pandora as sometimes just music is all we need with no words as that at times too can be overwhelming. Pray. Pray. Pray. It really can be hard for some to understand exactly what that is. You don’t have to do anything extravagant when you pray. All you have to do is find a place, anywhere and talk to God about your hurts, what you are struggling with, thank him for all you have and praise him. No wonder so many parents leave their families and children behind. They are discouraged, overwhelmed with intense emotions and feel there is no way out. Notice I said “feel”. Let’s try to take emotion out of our decision making though it is dang hard at times to do so, try it and pray.

The difference between effective marriages and effective parenting is prayer. I’ve noticed that powerful marriages and powerful parents value the power of prayer. If you wish to parent your child with autism well, you must pray well. I will give you a few suggestions to help with your prayer life:

Choose a place to have prayer. A car, bathroom, outdoors anywhere you can breathe will do.

Remind yourself of why you want to be a better parent, spouse, friend, minister and really appreciate the power of prayer

Determine times you will pray. I pray in the morning when I wake with some coffee, I also pray in the afternoon when my son is eating lunch. I have learned to pray throughout my days too. This has come with lots of practice talking with God and making it a habit, again like breathing.

Prayer should be your first priority when the going gets tough. Make prayer your first priority and make time to pray. If you want more on prayer listen to the latest podcast!!

“I want everyone everywhere to lift innocent hands toward heaven and pray, without being angry or arguing with each other.” 1 Timothy‬ ‭2:8‬ ‭CEV‬‬

Latest Podcast: https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/When-Overwhelmed-with-Emotions-Pray-ek46m1

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

Posted in AUTISM

Healthy Parents Do These Things!

What are some of the things that parents who have healthy minds, healthy bodies and healthy spirits do? I’ve taken some time to observe some marriages and parents who have children with autism and I have come to the conclusion that the healthiest parents do these things and they are:

  1. Learn to listen to each other, love each other and like each other. Happy couples hang out together and of course there is downtime where you don’t, but the happiest couples spend quality time together doing fun things, listening to the stories of their days, and love by doing things to help one another.
  2. Eat Meals together even if it’s one meal a a week just pencil it in and make it happen
  3. Share responsibility if I forget something at the store Kev will immediately go get it and vice versa. I am mostly in charge of the household duties, however if I ask Kev he always helps, I also reciprocate by helping assist him when he needs it with work.
  4. Laugh watch comedies, look up funny memes on Pinterest and just laugh it helps with so many things
  5. Pray healthy couples pray with one another, for each other and also for others too. Pray like it’s all you know how to do!

To listen to more on this topic checkout the latest podcast!

“You obeyed the truth, and your souls were made pure. Now you sincerely love each other. But you must keep on loving with all your heart.” 1 Peter‬ ‭1:22‬ ‭CEV‬

Latest Podcast: https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/Healthy-Parents-Do-These-Things-ejio2h

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

Posted in AUTISM

The Real: When People Don’t Support You

I am a wife and mom of three boys my middle son is with epilepsy, level III autism, and an intellectual disability. There have been times when people around us such as family, friends, and people that we don’t even know have not supported us concerning Jaiden and his behaviors. This can be downright hard, exhausting, and gives me some anxiety. I already have anxiety to the point where I can’t sleep at night because we have some turbulent times where Jaiden is not doing well and it carries on with me well into the night. 

For Jaiden, spitting, kicking, fighting, screaming, and other maladaptive behaviors are real. His meltdowns have become more frequent because he is going through puberty. Our other boys too, deal with these emotions and behaviors every single day.  What makes it hard is when people just don’t support what you’re trying to do to help your child in the journey of special needs. 

What I need as a mom is for someone to come alongside me and say how are things? Would you like me to take Sebastian for a bite to eat, or ice cream? How is Julian? Does he need anything? How is your marriage? Can I pray for you? My two boys without disabilities need support and that helps to support me as well. Don’t get me wrong, I am super grateful for literally the three friends I have in my life who always pray for us and ask if we need anything. I guess that’s really all I need right? “Who needs more than that?” is what my husband Kevin says. There are however, a lot more people that are just not as supportive. We are a family who needs a lot of grace.  I would love support especially from our family and friends that are close to us. If you are going through a similar situation just know that we are in your corner. You can always email us and ask us for prayer or words of encouragement as I know that can be super important when life is just downright down in the dumps. 

Im still trying to take it day by day with Jaiden as well as homeschool Sebastian who will be nine in two weeks. My older son is in college and working thankfully so he doesn’t need a lot of support, but he still needs attention and love. Kevin and I make it a point to support one another by making time for each other, doing small things for each other, and going to church as a family. Every little bit helps right?  I hope that you are doing ok with your children and that you have some supportive people in your corner.

“The Lord will fight for you, and you won’t have to do a thing.” Exodus‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭CEV‬‬

Latest Podcast: https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/The-Real-When-People-Dont-Support-You-ej077f

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

Posted in AUTISM

Autism Parent Isolation And The Reality

We are all in the middle of some kind of isolation right now. As a parent of a child who has severe disabilities, before all of this was going on in the world, Kevin and I entered a world with extreme isolation. It wasn’t always that way as when Jaiden was little we could handle him and his behaviors, but as he started to grow up he started having a lot of sensory issues and behavioral issues that were very hard to manage out in public places.  I wonder how many of you are in the same situation? I’m talking about not being able to go to church, not being able to go to family events, not being able to go to stores, not because of a virus but because your child has severe special needs and autism. 

When Jaiden was diagnosed with autism he was almost two years old. At that time we knew that having a two-year-old would be chaotic as I already had a six-year-old and I figured that Jaiden would be rambunctious and off the chain sometimes.  Typical two-year-olds normally don’t listen, they cry a lot and want their own way. I knew Jaiden was different because of having Julian and I knew that he didn’t go through all of the things that Jaiden was going through.

At one point in our life we had two different strollers for Jaiden and then it was three. It was because he figured out how to break free from the lock harness and we then figured out that we would need a stroller with a secure lock that he could not open. We found a perfect running stroller and then a McLaren stroller was gifted to us.  The McLaren stroller is an expensive stroller with an amazing lock however it is a special needs stroller which is why it costs so much.

We don’t get paid to give you guys info about the things we use, however you can find them on Amazon or ask your local board of developmental disabilities for help. We used these strollers for church, family events and outings.

I can tell you to go out with your child anyway in public. Love them, hug them. They are who they are so you can take them to stores, church, birthday parties and you may be successful. If you are not and are 0-8 as Kevin told me clearly one day. Sit down and have a family meeting about your child and their behaviors and what you can do as a family to make it comfortable for everyone. For more on this topic listen to the latest podcast!

“Young lions may go hungry or even starve, but if you trust the Lord, you will never miss out on anything good.” Psalms‬ ‭34:10‬

Latest Podcast: https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/Autism-Parent-Isolation-The-Reality-eilmas

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

Posted in AUTISM

Staying Positive During Sick Days

So how do you stay positive when you’re not feeling very good and every symptom that appears to be allergy like or cold like you think and others think you may now have COVID-19! Jaiden has been sick for most of the week with what we now know is a sinus infection. I then got it then my oldest etc… you all know the pain, pressure, bloody nasal drainage and fatigue cause you can’t breathe.

It’s hard to be sick when you have a family to take care of. It’s hard to be positive when you have a sick child with severe special needs. He screamed, spat, punched walls, and also slammed doors a lot this week, and I knew he was sick so I tried to give him his space. I made a great meal with chicken thighs and veggies for the whole family on Wednesday. I knew Jaiden was getting better as he was smiling more and happier overall.

I went to cleanup dining room and then went to the bathroom thinking I could leave the pan on the stove with the rest of the food which was for Kevin my husband. I went to the kitchen and I saw just veggies and shreds of chicken leftover! I was like “Nooo!” He laughed so hard and I was just like oh well Kev will have a nice vegetarian meal today. Then later that night, I got sick so I really was exhausted.

Jaiden left Kevin veggies for dinner☺️

Sometimes our kids are so hard to handle. Jaiden being a teen with all sorts of medical issues has times where he is a ton to handle. He was better I was not and then my oldest came out of his room later the next day to tell me he was sick too. We all were getting sick and Jaiden was bouncing off the walls. Kevin was not his usual self this week due to an unfortunate event that happened so we’re all out of sorts.

Jaiden demands attention from all of us and he will behave negatively as well to get ANY attention. I told him “Break Time!” on our kitchen floor after I found he ate all the gas x, pepto and drank half bottle of dimetapp thankfully it’s the tiny bottle. I was relieved that it wasn’t something worse as I hide meds and vitamins very well, but because I have been not feeling well I literally have let them all do whatever they want. Terrible I know. I might have left a few meds out which yep it was those and he ate and drank them up. He has Pica so he will eat and drink pretty much anything. You can’t be sick when you have a Jaiden it’s true. I was though, and grateful for my Hubbs buying me some vitamins, 7-up, cough drops, and NyQuil and also for a great friend that came to bring me soup to get me better. Love these peeps!

Just a push from them both helped me to be more positive. Now I am getting better just like Jaiden and so is my other son. One day at a time you guys! Praying I can help push you to be a better person too when you are not feeling so great. Blessings!

Jaiden having a break on kitchen floor

“Act like people with good sense and not like fools.” Ephesians 5:15 CEV

Latest Podcast: https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/Staying-Positive-During-Sick-Days-eib06j

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

Posted in AUTISM

Sunshine Blogger Award, Thank You Dear Kitty

My dear blogging friend Dear Kitty has been so kind to nominate The Autism Parent Blog for the Sunshine Blogger Award.

Thank you so much, dear Kitty, for this kind gesture!

The rules of the Sunshine Blogger Award are:

Thank and mention the blogger who has nominated you by linking to their blog.

Insert the logo of the Sunshine Blogger Award in the post.

Answer the eleven questions that are posed to you.

Nominate eleven bloggers [and link to their blogs].

Formulate eleven questions to be answered.

Indicate the rules of the nominations.

Dear Kitty’s questions, and my answers, are:

1. Where do you get inspiration for your hobbies/interests/talents?

By praying, meditating and listening to inspirational music.

2. Which of your posts has been the most popular?

Silencing The Negative Brain Chatter

3. Whatever your blog is about, when and why did you get interested in that topic?

I have a son with severe special needs and autism so back in 2012 I decided to start writing about coping while parenting to try and help other parents.

4. Do you ever feel nervous before publishing a blog post?

Yes, at times I feel I might not be helpful enough and that gives me some anxiety.

5. One thing that can lighten up your day in an instant?

A good cup of coffee☕️

6. Most watched tv series?

New girl.

7. Your comfort food?

Shepard’s pie.

8. What is a good morning like for you?

Having time in silence, prayer, meditation and a good cup of coffee.

9. What’s your favorite thing about your blog?

Meeting other bloggers.

10. What activity takes most of your time?

Parenting.

11. Are you, so far, proud, and satisfied with your blog’s progress?

Yes.

I ask my 11 nominees the same questions as Dear Kitty.

My nominees are:

1.http://homeschoolguru.org

2. http://therapybits.com

3. https://mylifeofcrime.wordpress.com

4. https://envirowatchrangitikei.wordpress.com

5. https://www.autismfamilypower.com

6. http://bereavedsingledad.blog

5. http://daysofsunshine.blog

6. http://drmarthacastrodoctor.com

7. https://fearandovercome.wordpress.com

8. http://artofblogging.net

9. http://diaryofabrokenman.home.blog

10. https://thewayoftheworshipper.com

11. https://catsthatcanblog.wordpress.com

Posted in AUTISM

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

I’m excited and ready for the new season! In the podcast, I will help you to stress less when parenting your child with autism. Here’s how:

1. I will help you to identify areas where there is most stress.

2. I will help give you the resources you need to help you on your journey.

3. I will help you to rely on God through the tough, tough times and give you a skill to use for your week.

Latest podcast episode: https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/I-HAVE-REACHED-TWO-YEARS-OF-PODCASTING-ehht8q

“All wisdom comes from the Lord, and so do common sense and understanding.” Proverbs‬ ‭2:6‬ ‭

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

Posted in AUTISM

6 Books That Have Made Me A Better Autism Parent

This post does not contain any affiliate links just material that has helped me on my journey.

I have an office with a white bookshelf full of books. When we moved to our home just a few months back when COVID-19 hit, I wanted to bring all of my books with me as in our previous home the bookshelves were overflowing with all kinds of books. However, that was not possible because I had way too many books and not all of them would fit on the new bookshelf.

When I became a mom to Julian my oldest I read books, when I became Jaiden’s mom I read more books. Then he was diagnosed with epilepsy, autism and an intellectual disability I read lots and lots of books. I studied psychology and read a plethora of books. I had Sebastian my youngest and read children’s books, lots of them. Many of the books I’ve read over the years have shared amazing information. I absolutely love them all. There are a few most recently that have stuck with me as an autism parent. These few are the one I pick up over and over again.

My Favorite Books To Pick Up Over And Over Again:

1. No Fighting, No Biting, No Screaming: How to Make Behaving Positively Possible for People with Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities https://www.amazon.com/dp/1849051267/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YOGlFbJ0TT9JD

In this book, I can totally relate to the parents and how the professionals explain in handling violent situations concerning your child.

2. Warfare: Winning the Spiritualhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/0802418171?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

When I read this book, our family was on the verge of a breakdown because I was believing that it was all my fault. This book helped me to realize where the real battle lies.

3. Man’s Search for Meaning https://www.amazon.com/dp/0807014273?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

This book is a must read for all humans. It is a book that helped me get back on track with life and to be grateful and change my mindset.

4. The Everyday Life Bible: The… https://www.amazon.com/dp/0446578274?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Love this bible as it has lots of explanations of the scriptures being presented with tips on enjoying your life more.

5. Let Me Hear Your Voice: A… https://www.amazon.com/dp/0449906647?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

A must read for all parents that have newly diagnosed children with autism.

6. A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1629986712/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_9UGlFb3HGH20P

A great book by a man with autism who explains how his mom loved him, prayed for him, and helped him through some difficult situations during his childhood with autism.

What are your favorite books that have helped you?

“The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Proverbs‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭

Latest Podcast:https://anchor.fm/molisfam/episodes/When-All-Hope-Is-Lost–Consider-This-ehht5l

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

Posted in AUTISM

When All Hope Is Lost, Consider This

Have you ever lost something? Maybe it was your keys. To find them you try and retrace your steps, look in all sorts of places and may also blame others and ask if they’ve seen them. Perhaps maybe they’ve been stolen. Things can be insignificant material things. What if what you lost was a person?

There are so many questions that occupy my mind and I was hoping to have someone anyone shed some light as to how a person one day can be with an intellectual disability, autism and epilepsy be physically, behaviorally sound for most days and then the next be completely gone mentally. No one not a doctor, psychiatrist, neurologist, psychologist, behavioral therapist, counselor could tell me why. They all have their own findings as to why but not specifically for my Jaiden.

I know that we as parents can become uncomfortable with how our children with special needs present with so many maladaptive behaviors. They may scream, pick at their skin till it bleeds, bang their heads, bite, spit, kick you name it. I’ve tried to find him in the midst of the mess. I’ve prayed, sang, loved, hugged, researched, and read. I’ve tried to apply certain methods of therapy, played with him, walked with him, jumped with him, swam with him, sang with him, used medication for him, and sent him to the best schools. Jaiden is who he is. I find that mentally he is lost most days. I didn’t ever think I would see a day where Jaiden and his mind was lost. As his mother, any information I’ve received for Jaiden is helpful, even if it isn’t. Nowadays, I cling to whatever peace I can cling to and try to parent him the best way I can.

When all hope is lost, answers are needed. Sometimes you may not get any answers. I’m in this with you and believing for better days ahead.

My God and Protector, when I feel anxiety surrounds me on all sides with no visible rescue plan, remind me to relax in the presence of Your greater strength. As I rest in You, I want to imagine Your Spirit with His arms wide open, standing up for me. Amen.

Get Maritza’s First Book Autism in Our Home on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Now!! Putting God first when parenting your child with autism is the best thing you can do for your family! I want to help you to get your mind right and point you to the right resources. My second book is in the works and will be out soon!! https://www.amazon.com/author/maritzamoliswww.bn.com/s/9781642993400

If you wanna go much deeper than the blogs and podcasts are giving you then make sure you go to www.strategies2cope.com and I can go one on one with you. I can give you a free 10 min consultation to see if I am the right fit for you so just go to strategies2cope.com and send me a message!

Check out my husband👉🏼Kevin on his YouTube page for more tips!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClCgg1lNqI3cmeE4fBHFjvw

“Worry is a heavy burden, but a kind word always brings cheer.” Proverbs‬ ‭12:25‬ ‭CEV‬‬